Gatsby versus Fratsby

Now that all of my ranting and midterm rage is out, we can go back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Tonight is Thread’s Gatsby vs. Fratsby party at the JBar. It starts at 9pm; if you’re 21, be there or be square. In honor of it, I’m going to provide you with some ideas for outfits, accessories, and what-have-you’s whether you’re Team Gatsby or Team Fratsby (#teamfratsby all the way).

If you’re looking to throwback to the glory of The Great Gatsby, think somewhat formal in your attire choices. Jay Gatsby was one swanky dude and if you thought Daisy ever wore jeans, think again. Just look at Robert Redford in the original movie, or even Leo in this Christmas’s Baz Luhrmann take.

So dapper.

The first suggestion I can make is white. White, white, white. White blazers, white sweaters, white pant, white shorts. If you look at the costuming from the films, white is a pretty big part of the color schemes. White accents are becoming more and more popular again, so chances are you might have some (or someone to borrow from) already.

Another thing I’d suggest is maybe thinking about a sweater, like a fun cardigan over and oxford. Of course, it might be too warm for that this evening. But, this is Ohio. You never know.

For Fratsby, try a polo or oxford shirt. And you can definitely never go wrong with anything in salmon. Salmon shorts are the best. Really, any colored chino shorts would work: yellow, blue, salmon, navy. Think bright and fun or pastels when deciding on colors. Anything additional, you can check out some of my previous posts.

Try and mix and match the two. Maybe even throw in a bowtie for some fun. That’s pretty Gatsby and pretty Fratsby at the same time.

Tied that myself yesterday!

Hopefully, I’ll get to see you there.


back to basics, bro

You know, I probably should’ve made this post last week instead of jumping right in to the do’s and don’ts of lax brohood. So before we delve any deeper into the heart and soul of broin’ out, let’s establish a few essential accessories that should be in any bro’s closet. 

The Shoes

The boat shoe may very well be the most used item in a bro’s arsenal. It’s the perfect shoe for almost (notice, please, that I said almost) any outfit or occasion. Going to class? Boat shoe. Philanthropy event? Boat shoe. Chillin’ at High Fest this weekend? Boat shoe. A body of water doesn’t have to be anywhere in sight; it can be there in spirit. If there was a body of water, you would totally be out there right now on a boat with your bros. Not only are boat shoes versatile, but they’re durable. They have to be to be able to go from classes to festing without any break in between. I’ve put my Topsiders through quite some abuse in the past year and only now am I thinking about retiring them, mostly because my art final last quarter found its way onto the leather.

As a side note: Sperry Topsiders are, obviously, the choice brand for any boat shoe as they are a classic. However, if you’re a money conscious bro, knockoff boat shoes can be found almost anywhere you can buy shoes and with price tags anyone can afford. You don’t need to spend big money to look your best.

The Jacket

Sometimes, it gets cold. No matter how much we’d all like to deny it, when the sun goes down, it can get pretty chilly in Ohio. Or it could’ve hit 80 degrees yesterday, so naturally, it needs to be in the high 50’s/low 60’s today. When this happens, you need something to keep you warm that isn’t just a sweatshirt you’d wear to the gym. You want to look classy, don’t you? The ideal candidate is the blazer. You can dress them up for a formal occasion, or you can dress them down for general broin’ out. Navy and black are classic colors. Though, lately different colors are becoming more popular. If you decide to go with a colored blazer, just make sure it doesn’t look too much like you’ve stepped out of a time machine from the ’80s. Avoid large shoulder pads at all costs.

The Shades

On the contrary, sometimes the sun decides it wants to peek out from behind all the dreary rain clouds. All of a sudden, it’s pretty blinding outside. Either way, what shades you decide to wear is of utmost importance. If you decided on aviators, here’s your chance to decide again. The wayfarer is the only way to go. They’re simply a classic, and that’s what broin’ out is all about. Being classic and classy. Besides, you can get cheap wayfarers stamped with your organizations name on it. You can get neon ones or black ones or anything in between to match the outfit you’re wearing. If you want to spend the money, hell, you can get customized ones. 

Personally, I rock a pair of black Ray-Bans with a map on the inside. They’re also prescription, so I have a tendency to rock them inside or at night because I always seem to forget my regular glasses (also wayfarers, but without tinted lenses). Since they’re prescription and I either don’t take them off or replace them with a different pair of glasses, I don’t actually own a pair of croakies. However, croakies are your shades’ best friend. With croakies, they won’t get lost, in your way, or ruin your flow if you need to unshade your eyes for any reason.


lax on, lax off

There comes a day in every bro’s life when she picks up a lacrosse stick. 

Definitely a don't.

Most likely because her bros pretend they can play. Whether a bro can play lacrosse or not, the sport has somehow found itself entrenched in bro life. Honestly, I don’t get it. The lax look has got to go. It’s one thing if you’re on the team and/or actually playing a game of lacrosse, because then, it’s practical. If you’re not, then please, just don’t.

For one thing: lax shorts aren’t exactly flattering. Unless you’ve earned them, please don’t wear them. Let real lax bros have something left to wear that’s still a sacred symbol of their athletic achievement. For non-lax players, mesh-on-mesh just seems sloppy. Besides, pinnies have evolved into normal festing and party attire.

However, if you still feel the need to pay respect to the laxer, abide by these two suggestions:

1. Invest in a pair of Nike shorts, a.k.a. “Norts.” These are a shebro’s best friend. “Norts” are more feminine than lax shorts, so you can sport them throughout your day without looking like a walk of shame.

2. Ditch the pinny. A tank with a neon sports bra is a lot more comfortable. It’s hard to go wrong with neon.

But, here's a do.